The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. ~Niels Bohr
As we age we invest more and more into our strategies for life. In our autopilot way of existence we can perceive of life as happening to us and we take our characteristic ways about how to handle all the stressors, large and small. How we go about our day and react to these inconveniences reveals what we implicitly prioritize.
Whether you find yourself prioritizing achievement & driving forward into the future, spontaneity & the busyness of doing it all, or taking it easy & getting along with others (to name a few core strategies), you likely use this strategy for the most, if not all, areas of your life. We reinforce our actions to ourselves by selectively remembering all the ways it has worked well for us and glancing over all the ways it has hindered us from living more fully.
The pull to be consistent is a strong tendency in the human mind. There is a gravity to the familiar – that today and tomorrow will be like yesterday, even if yesterday and the day before weren’t so great. Emotional logic is a paradox. Predictability may suffocate growth and lead to dullness, but the primitive parts of our brains don’t like a gamble and will steer us toward choices that are safe & predictable rather than new and possibly scarey.
1) Consider your strategy for life by what your actions (not your stories about yourself) say about what you prioritize (no self-judgements needed here)…
- purposefulness and perfectionism
- generosity and people pleasing
- outwardly driven and inwardly deprived
- responsibility and playing it safe
- easy going and complacent
2) How would someone who embraces the opposite behave differently? Or alternatively ask yourself ‘If I wasn’t as ____, then I’d be free to be more ____’.
For example I tend towards being overly planned and serious about life. I admire others who have a more spontaneous and fun-loving way of being.
3) Challenge yourself to at least 1 specific time (e.g. Monday after work, Saturday morning) to embrace the opposite & notice the resistance that arises for the very thing you desire.
Even though I desire to be more fun-loving this isn’t a familiar and predictable behavior for me. My mind will be uncomfortable and I will have the urge to resist and resort back to the comfort of preparing and planning for the future. This is normal, expected and precisely the signal that let’s us know we are growing.
If you are able to notice the urge to resist as it is happening give yourself a pause and congratulate yourself – you are creating your new normal!